June 2011. Washington, DC.
I don’t have a car, so to get to work, I walk the half mile to the Metro and take a train into the city.
Today, I am carrying my purse, with my book, makeup case, and wallet, on one shoulder. On the other shoulder is a tote bag full of promotional brochure, pens, and signs from a recent work event. In one hand is my lunch bag. In the other hand is my travel mug.
As I walk up the hill by the park, I readjust the various shoulder straps and reallocate the weight. While I wait to cross the street, I rub my aching shoulders. I make a scene at the Metro Station, searching for my train pass.
It is 7:30 in the morning, and I am already weighed down.
We all know what it is like to have burdens. They can suffocate us. They can exhaust us. They can overwhelm us.
We shrink under the weight of our burdens. We vanish under the magnitude of our burdens. We lose our strength to keep moving. We lose our desire to keep moving.
Sometimes, I feel like I have too many burdens to count, much less carry. My anxiety disorder. My student loans. My social obligations. My chores at home. My tasks for work.
But my heaviest burden, by far, are my mistakes. My regrets. My sins.
They make every single one of my other burdens even heavier to carry and harder to tackle.
They keep me from getting a good night’s sleep. Then, they keep me from embracing the new day.
Many would tell you that, in order to live a life without regrets, you should take yourself and your world less seriously. Ignore them. Forget them. Just let go of them.
God would tell you that, in order to live a life without regrets, you should take your sins to Him. Acknowledge them. Name them. And, then, confess them.
King David, following his affair, offers the most beautiful confession in Psalm 51. He begins,
“Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin.” (Psalm 51:1-2, NRSV)
Jesus expresses a similar sentiment when leading instructing the crowds in the “Our Father.” He prays,
“And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12)
In the Catholic tradition, the Act of Contrition elaborates,
“In choosing to do wrong
and failing to do good,
I have sinned against you
whom I should love above all things.
I firmly intend, with your help,
to do penance,
to sin no more,
and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.”
These words, of course, are neither easy nor enjoyable to say. Examining our lives and confessing our sins can ignite nausea and tears. We are pained by the pain we have caused to ourselves, to our neighbor, and to our God.
Upon hearing our confession, God forgives us. Upon hearing our confession, God frees us. To live. To thrive. To flourish. For our own good. And for the glory of God.
So, in your next prayer, stop carrying your sins. Stop walking through life with all that extra weight. Start living your life unburdened. Or, in the words of the soulful Sanders Bohlke,
“Bring your weary soul to the altar
Close your eyes and bend your knees
Lay your worries and your burdens down.”
The A.C.T.S. prayer, which includes Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication, helps me share everything with Christ. The big, the small. The good, the bad. Read more about Adoration, Thanksgiving, and Supplication.